August, like a whole month of sundays
an update from Jess at jessica love photography featuring current work from family sessions of summer 2024
It’s no surprise, if you’ve been here a while that we live for summer around here, but as summer winds down, the air takes on a different quality, hinting at the approaching school year. Mornings that once began with leisurely breakfasts now become a rush of packing lunches and tying shoelaces. The excitement of new classrooms and friendships mingles with the bittersweet feeling of shorter days and fading sunlight. Striking a balance becomes essential; it's a challenge to carve out family time amidst the responsibilities and commitments that fill the calendar. Each evening is a reminder to savor these last moments of summer, whether it’s gathering for a simple dinner or lingering outdoors a bit longer, cherishing the laughter and stories shared before the school bus routine begins anew. As the leaves start to turn, it's a time to reconnect and reflect on the joys of family togetherness, even as life takes on a more structured rhythm.
This summer is the first that - GASP - I did not book a wedding from June 16-August 4. It feels wild to say, being a wedding photographer and all, and it was quite scary….but here’s what I found: JOY and BALANCE. I sense the privilege here, to even get a chance to be choosy about my bookings and work, and I know I wouldn’t be here without the support of awesome people like you who hire me to work together!
What got me through the summer - because to me, the balance of HOME and WORK is important as the balance of not working too much, if you know what I mean! are some pretty amazing families who had me over to capture some important milestones in their lives.
As the summer lull comes to an end and the days begin to shorten, I am filled with anticipation for the upcoming wedding and family sessions that this fall promises to bring. The quiet moments of the past few months have afforded me a wonderful opportunity to reflect on my craft, and now I find myself eager to capture the beautiful memories that will undoubtedly unfold during this enchanting season. Whether it’s the vibrant colors of autumn leaves painting the landscape or the cozy gatherings filled with laughter and warmth among loved ones, my ultimate goal is to document the genuine emotions and deep connections that define your special event. I sincerely hope you consider having me as your photographer to preserve these treasured moments for years to come, ensuring that they can be revisited and cherished in the future.
Authentic Family Photography
Just bopping in here to remind you: I primarily shoot weddings, but my heart + eyes are trained to capture your family moments in ways that are as authentic + beautiful as they can be. I’d love to get you in front of my camera this fall.
This’ll be the first year I won’t shoot any “mini session” day - but I will make time to get your family on my schedule in a way that works for both of us!
SLOAN + HAYLEY / SHARE WHAT YOU WANNA SHOOT!
I should know this, I’ve been doing this for long enough that I’ve definitely been through this cycle of learning before. Now giving it a permanent place on the blog will hopefully remind myself not to lose sight of it again!
What’s the lesson? Making art for art’s sake, that’s the goal! My newest reminder came in the form of reconnecting with Hayley over, what else? flowers! and ended with a late summer night spent with their dahlia patch.
I’m endlessly inspired by my couples - and it sounds silly because everyone is just a little bit the same, aren’t we? But getting to come into a space, and read your vibes, energy, love - it’s the thing that changes from shoot to shoot.
so the point, beyond the awesome time I had shooting with them is that mid summer I decided, I’m going to share what makes me happy - not the algorithm, not what I “should” share….and that’s what got Sloane, Hayley + me reconnected.
Shiloh's birth story
I took my first instagram poll, and "family blog" won out over a wedding blog so because I got a bit caught up on weddings this morning, I figured now, at 9 weeks old, was as good a time as any to share some photos and write about how we brought our newest LoveMac into the world. It feels funny to share such an intimate moment with the WHOLE interweb, but I find that when I'm my most vulnerable, that's when the magic happens. That's when other women reach out to connect in ways that would never happen otherwise. Plus, I think the more stories that we share about such a crazy thing (BIRTH), the more we can all realize and support each other in the difficult decisions that come with having a baby. So here goes!
portra 400 converted
So leading up to baby, we did ALL THE THINGS. It was like, the more we do, the less I'll realize my own misery. As I shared in the last family blog. This pregnancy was just so hard on me. The feeling of how is ever going to even be possible with 4 kids, combined with the sheer exhaustion and just overwhelming pain that came with being pregnant again. Maybe it was 75% mental, and I let it get to me. But I swear, I wasn't sleeping, and the aches were just so much!
My original due date started as 9/23 AND I started at a typical OBGYN. Like lots of you might know, Coco was delivered at home with a midwife. After her birth, and hearing subsequent birth stories, I let fear get the best of me, saying, "IF we have more, I'd NEVER deliver at home because ____ and ____...but no worries, we're done" HA! So, you can imagine my utter confusion once I found myself pregnant, having vowed never to deliver at home again, but absolutely struggling with the medical side of pregnancy. I didn't want to do the extra stuff. I didn't want to be poked and prodded, having known my own history the way that I did. We had three healthy, normal, nothing extraordinary pregnancies. I like the midwife approach to my own pregnancy, it works for me. Is it better than any other? NOPE! Everyone has to choose and do what's best for them and their growing baby - but for me, I just couldn't do it. I started to explore other options and found myself liking another homebirth route. Now, keep in mind, this pregnancy was NOT easy for me. Everything with baby, and my health was FINE. But mentally, I just wasn't there. Spoiler alert: now I look at my sweet Shiloh and wish I would've accepted him more, but I just couldn't. I've had lots of conversations with other moms about this already. I am by no means an expert, but my best advice is that it'll be ok. I can't look at him regretful I didn't BASK in my pregnant glory. I was treading water like no other time in life. Trying to keep up a "normal" and happy life for my 6, 4, and 2 year olds. And run a business. And be a wife. It was exhausting, and painful. (I am making it more miserable than it really was ... I think. It wasn't just sadness the entire time!) So anyways, after the first ultrasound at 8 weeks or so, and he measured well over 3 weeks bigger than he should be, we moved the date to 9/15. I've had a baby 4 days late (FInn), 3 weeks early (Sawyer) and one week early (Coco). So in my head, this baby is coming end of August, no later!
August comes and goes. And things are different feeling. He's measuring fine, my appointments are fine, blood pressure, protein, weight gain (honestly, I NEVER EVER worry about weight gain. I don't even know or pay attention to what it was with any pregnancy. To me, that's just a thing to cause extra worry) fine....but I'm feeling...different. I started to feel like I did something wrong by not embracing and glowing every second of the past nine months. I started talking myself into the idea he...wouldn't be able to breathe at birth, or wouldn't come out crying. Hormones? maybe..but more than anything his pregnancy started to feel different than the rest. I had braxton hicks contractions from like 20 weeks with him. Never experienced those before with any other kid. Around September 3ish maybe? I would have "pre labor" I guess I'd call it? 20 mins of contractions here and there, consistent for an hour or so, then nothing. Again, never experienced those things with any other child. Once labor hit, the baby was on their way. All these things let me get into my own head about how the birth was going to go. Mentally, by this point I was dealing with *still* being pregnant fine. I wasn't like GO INTO LABOR GO INTO LABOR! Like I know it's easy to get into. I convinced myself I'd stay pregnant till the 20th of September (maybe even the 21st..."do you remember..the 21st night of September" only our favorite wedding song EVVVERRR!). And maybe started to feel the most bonded with my baby as I'd felt all pregnancy. I always remember the wise words my sister told me as I was late with Finn, and she'd already had their first three weeks earlier: "enjoy the last days of pregnancy, it's the last time you can ever truly protect them" gaaaah, doesn't that just get you!? I started thinking, what if something happens? What if these months with him inside are all I get with him. Who are we to be able to have FOUR healthy children? Hormones. Too much.
Well the day of Sunday the 10th of September, I slept. and slept, and slept. And snapped. At the kids, at Mike. Looking back: DUH. I'm about to have a baby. In the moment, whoa: I'm super pregnant. Leave me alone!
I woke up at 1:45 September 11th, and was having contractions closely and consistently. We started getting stuff ready, we knew a litttttle better how to prepare for a homebirth this time around (last time, we didn't have the tub inflated, and Mike was literally bringing boiling buckets of water to warm the tub as Coco was born!). So the midwife arrives at 3:30 (?) I think, and says the words, "well! this should be fast!" and ALL I've said ALL ALONG is that I will base this pregnancy off of how the rest of my pregnancies and labors have gone. SO, I'm already in my own head about the fact that the intermittent contracts are different and what's wrong with this baby?! AND he's posterior. Which means we're spine to spine. He should be facing the other way, so that when he is born, the easiest part of his dome delivers first. It also means that the contractions are insane.
I've had two unmedicated births, by choice. And they were easy. So smooth. This one, so far, was not happening that way. I knew my labors last no longer than 12 hours. Coco was born in an intense, but looking back, EASY 3. SO as I'm listening to the newspapers be delivered (because in our neighborhood, the car that delivers them ALWAYS has a broken muffler!) around 5am, I'm realizing this is 4 hours in, my baby should be here by sunrise. The photos will be fantastic! An early morning birth, a day full of sunshine for all the goodness I want to capture of him meeting everyone. All I ever wanted in a birth!
BUUUT I'm getting no relief. I've gotten in the tub, in the shower, on the toilet (TMI?! it's a birth story remember!?). While the warm water of the tub allowed me to relax for a second, nothing was progressing as quickly as anyone expected it to. One thing about birth, that I'm certain you've read before is that when the urge to push is there, it's insanely relieving. I never got that. My body stopped. What I love about the midwife practice is that mom is in charge. They told me to go with what my body felt. Well, the one or two times I gave in to the urge to push, at home, I didn't feel anything that felt better. As the minutes passed, I could feel my body shutting down. I could feel my fear and anxiety taking over.
The reason I went with the midwife practice I did is that the hospital they transfer to + have a wonderful relationship with is just 5 minutes from our house....at 7am, I was given the choice, after trying the birthing ball IN the shower (nope, nope, nope!), to get back in the tub? get on the toilet? try to lay down? I looked around and said,
WHY!? We're just prolonging it. Let's go to St. Ann's.
I thought maybe in that moment I'd feel bad, or like I'd failed, or that I did something wrong. When, in all actuality, I felt empowered. I made a decision that I KNEW I, and my baby, needed. They looked me in the eye and said, we'll clean up and follow you. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. well, maybe they said, uh, can you get in the car? Or, can you get pants on? HA! And, I'll tell you another spoiler: throughout the rest of this birth, I never felt a single moment of NOT being in charge. Even with a hospital transfer, and even with "the medical side" of having a baby.
So by now the kids are awake, my sister's arrived to watch them, and I somehow managed to make it to the back of our van. I'm not sure if I laid on the seat or the floor, but it wasn't awesome. I closed my eyes and played the route their as I counted turns and Mike assured me as to where we were at each stop. The check into the hospital was swift, got us right into a room, did all the things (all the questions ALLLLL THE QUESTIONS!), and told me my epidural would be here "soon." tell a women in labor "soon" and she has a different idea of what that means. 20 minutes certainly isn't soon.
I chose to go no epi with Sawyer, at the hospital, because the pain of the needle in my back was just terrifying to me after Finn's. This time around, I swear I would've left with that thing if they let me! After having the labor I'd had, the relief was so welcome. And, after two natural births, I'll tell you what: sitting in a hospital bed laboring while just scrolling instagram and laughing and oh my gosh maybe even resting!? is blissful. In this instance, too, I can look at it as a time that I probably most bonded with my baby. Crazy right? I wrote about it in the last post I wrote about his birth. I let my body calm down. I let myself relax, and wasn't in any pregnancy pain. FINALLY. Clearly my body needed it, because the midwives "this'll be fast" comment couldn't have been further from the truth. After the epidural, my body needed 5 hours to relax enough to progress to get to the point to push. FIVE HOURS! My anxiety, I think, about what was going to go wrong, or what I did wrong, played a huge roll in that.
So sparing these details (hahaha!) he arrived, and was PERFECT and HUGE. I got to hold him right away, we didn't know whooooo he looked like, and once they got him on the scale we knew why - my miserable pregnancy was justified the second the scale read NINE POUNDS TWO OUNCES! (keep in mind Coco weighed 6 lb 11 oz), and he pretty much looked like a puffy version of each kid at birth.
The laugh cry emoji is perfectly applicable for this moment in my life. Never would I have imagined, after all 6 and 7 pound babies, that I could have a 9 pounder. He was so fat, and so awesome! (iphone pic below because when you transfer to the hospital from a homebirth, you barely get even just yourselves there and we certainly didn't bring a camera)
He's the perfect addition to my life. I am selfish and say it like that because he's everything I never knew I needed. He's relaxed me in ways I didn't know I needed. I let my big kids be and don't even think twice about it. They're big kids! they can deal with independence. I have days when I don't put him down. It means more intentional living all around. I find myself seeking meaningful interactions with each kid instead of just wasting the time I have. And on top of that, they're all obsessed with him. Not all the time, not in an annoying way, just like, Oh, he's our baby, and he's here. And we LOVE HIM.
thanks for being here! if I can be any support to any new / about to be a new moms out there, don't hesitate to write! I love nothing more than getting to help someone who needs it <3
my kids, on film
It's more infrequent, because, let's face it the #gobrokeshootfilm is a very real thing, but every roll I get back from The Darkroom Lab I fall in love more and more with film (and wish I had an endless bank account to supply my habit!). Here're some of my favorite from this spring!
And, obviously I can't let a blog post go without promoting something....I don't have a lot of time, but I'll tell you what wedding season makes me miss like crazy: FAMILY SESSIONS.
SO. If you're out there experiencing a NEED for a family session, please get in touch! I'm likely to be able to squeeze you in over the next few months!
in home, snapshot sessions!
I feel so luck to do the job that I love. I enjoy every aspect of shooting: families, weddings, everything in between. As it's my *job* to make my schedule + find a way to make it work for our family, this year has brought some interesting changes: more families and less weddings. I shot THIRTY TWO weddings last year. 32! Insanity, and, truly, while I loved it, it felt insane. Our summer flew by. I vowed to make this year different. Slower. More intentional. It's working, and an added benefit I've happily found is that I have more time to shoot something I'm deeply passionate about: families.
Candidly capturing children and families comes easy to me. It feels like second nature, because I know how I want my own family to be photographed. It's not hard. It's not stressful. It's not fast moving. If we have to, we can wait out that two year old until shooting doesn't seem like work for them. They're babies. It should be fun!
Same with parents. You're either incredibly sleep deprived due to your new baby, or just in that general, I'm a parent, I don't sleep forever phase of parenting young kids. I get it.
So, we've still got this weird Ohio season happening. This time of not quite spring, but so over winter we don't know what to do with ourselves. I'd like to fill my weekends + evenings by coming into your homes / meeting you at your favorite spot around Columbus documenting your days, and for a special time + price. it's for you, yes, but it's also because I know that once May hits, I won't be taking on many sessions until October or November due to wedding season craziness.
The details:
45 minute in home / *special place* on location
Digital images delivered digitally, with printing rights
$250
email today as I feel like I have endless weekends, but in reality will only take on about 5.
jessicalovephoto@gmail.com or use the contact link via website!