a return to myself

You know how, in life, you never know what you’re missing until you find it? Being a mom felt like that, for me. Finding a film camera (obviously not to the same extent) felt like that to me. When I picked up a film camera and shot ALL THE THINGS in 2016, it felt like I had finally started living a true version of who I was supposed to be. As I type it, it’s weird to feel such a sense of self entangled in this job that I do…but here we are.

I feel most like myself when I can tell a story. My mode isn’t paper and pencil or computer..it’s my camera. Not my phone, man I hated when the pandemic hit, and I stopped shooting film. It’s the dark ages of our family’s history. And there’s nothing wrong with digitally recording life, it just isn’t my mode of doing it. As I’ve been feeling something shift in the past few months, it’s felt like home. Picking up a camera and working to get the light reading in my head, getting the shutter stop and aperture set before I look through the viewfinder..that is a meditation sort of exercise that keeps me present in moments, in ways I didn’t even begin to understand!

from a “work” point of view, what I love about film is that it lets me feel like I’m capturing the feel of my clients. It doesn’t have to always be clean and bright…because sometimes life, and love, are blurry and fuzzy and remind you of the way the warmth was in that moment…plus, now that I’m developing at Midwest Photo Exchange (vs. sending to a lab across the country, holla for supporting local!), I have my film scans back the next day. THE NEXT DAY! WILD!!

So while I know digital is still queen, I’m so glad to once again WANT to see your world through a film camera + hope you see the light in that, and bring me along!!